Trust

Can you trust the one you are with?

Heres how you know.

Check out the 7 key ingredients to TRUST.  People’s actions speak louder than their words.  Pay attention.  Don’t just listen to what they say.  Watch and assess what they do.  People need to earn your trust and these 7 elements are “must haves” if you are going to involve yourself with someone. If not, don’t give away your most valuable gift–the honor of placing your heart in their hands and trusting them.

If they don’t have these 7 qualities, you’re choosing to place your heart in an unsafe place, and you will most likely get hurt.

The phenomenal Brené Brown Ph.D. and L.M.S.W. has laid it out perfectly using the acronym “BRAVING.” Follow these guidelines taken from her new best seller “Braving the Wilderness.”

These 7 facts cut right to the truth and will help you determine whether or not you should ever give somebody your trust and if they’ve truly earned it. If they meet the 7 elements of trust, go ahead and put your heart into their hands. If they don’t, choosing to trust them could lead you to a lot of heart ache and pain.

Remember, the essence of who someone is shows up in their actions. Do they take responsibility for what they say and do? You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. Someone who wants to grow and change will seek help for themselves if the relationship is getting rough. You telling them to go to therapy won’t do a damn thing. They have to see it and want it.

Someone who wants to grow and change and have a healthy relationship will say, “Wow I can see this is an issue and now I want to learn how I can fix it! I want to be a better communicator so I can be the most trustworthy person possible for myself and my partner.”

Seven Elements of Trust; From Brené Brown’s “Braving the Wilderness”

B – BOUNDARIES

You respect my boundaries and when you’re not clear about what’s OK and not OK you ask. You are willing to say no.

R– RELIABILITY

You do what you say you will do. This means you stay aware of what you are competent in and what your limitations are. You don’t over promise and you are able to deliver on commitment while you balance competing priorities.

A – ACCOUNTABILITY

You own your mistakes, you apologize, and you make amends.

V-VAULT

You keep conversations confidential, and you don’t share with me things about others that are not my business. You don’t share with me things that are not yours to share. And you don’t share with others what is not theirs to hear.

I-INTEGRITY

You choose courage over comfort. You choose what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy. You practice your values rather than professing them.

N-NON-JUDGMENT

I can ask for what I need. You can ask for what you need. We can talk about how we feel. And we won’t judge each other for how we feel.

G – GENEROSITY

You extend the most generous interpretation possible to the words and actions of others. If something goes wrong, you don’t immediately assume that it was intentional and meant to be hurtful. You work first from an assumption of generosity “Braving The Wilderness”

A healthy relationship will choose to come together and discuss these foundational elements to lock down TRUST in a relationship.

Rather than fight, come together to seek understanding together. A good relationship starts with you. That’s the best part.

Love and Light,

Dilyse